I'm writing this as a way of not writing the 6000 words I have to hand in at 5pm today as part of my post-grad course. I have written 3000 so it's not total disaster but still kinda nerve-wracking. I come from a long line of self-employed journos and we seem to only be able to work when we're wired on coffee, pulling our hair out and watching the clock eat up the minutes...
Our SW is coming on Thursday to talk more about the little boy she's got in mind. His SW is off on holiday for two weeks on Friday so we need to get in there quickly. I haven't told that many people - some close friends, my sister - but not our parents, as I think if it fell through it would be too much for them. There is another couple, but they're out of county, so it looks like we might be first in line. But then that made me feel sad and guilty for the other couple, probably as excited as we are right now.
At the weekend, my friend's sister and I held her a surprise baby shower. I've never really been hugely into these because they seem a bit grabby and synonymous with our capitalist culture, so we aimed to make it more of a 'blessingway' (though I did notice one card with a pregnant woman on it saying 'Dream...Plan...Shop'. Really? I mean, for f's sake, isn't there more to preparing for parenthood than frickin shopping?!?!). I decorated a little tree with cut out hearts in different colours on which the guests wrote their wishes for her little boy/bump - Love, Abundance, Besos (from the Spanish contingent) etc. I also asked guests to bring along their favourite children's book and there were some absolutely magic memories there! Plus we got her a lovely sling that has lots of different positions, including one for breastfeeding. All in all, a very special day, and it was a treat to see her face when she came in the room!
It's a funny thing though, her 'blessingway' made me think about the plans I had drawn up for mine - bump painting, making garlands for the birth, gathering together different things friends had drawn strength from during their own labours/early days - from nettle tea to a precious stone etc. It seems a bit odd to have one as an adoptive mum, and I can't quite get away from the idea I'd feel a bit fraudulent. Without a bump to rub, and a birth to prepare for, I think I'd feel a bit of a spanner to be honest! So no 'Dream...Plan...Shop' cards for me, thank GOODNESS!!! On the other hand, as I mentioned in a previous post, I am going to do some kind of little treat for myself to celebrate nearly-motherhood - perhaps going away somewhere quiet and planting a tree; taking out a day to swim and eat good foods and write in my journal; making my own little wishing tree or book for our child; even going away somewhere for a night and having a massage and some reflective time...my own personal blessingway.
2 comments:
That sounds such a lovely idea, I hope you manage to do something that you really enjoy (and something that you won't have so much time to do when your child arrives).
I didn't do anything for either my son being placed, or my pregnancy/daughter's arrival. It all felt too material to me, but I wish I'd thought of something more reflective like you...
Hey, but what about doing something now?! To honour yourself as a mother, and all the amazing stuff you do every day? Even if it's just a few hours when someone looks after Dollop and Mini is at school - a walk somewhere special, planting a tree, a massage, a little treat to self?! Go on, you deserve it xxx
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