Tuesday 26 June 2012

Please help me fight discrimimation against adoptive mothers!

Here's something a little shocking:

Researching our financial options for impending parenthood, I discovered that as a SELF-EMPLOYED ADOPTIVE MOTHER I do not receive statutory adoption pay. Discriminatory? Very. See below for very cross letter I sent my MP (his name actually is Norman, I didn't make that up). Working pregnant women, by law, receive statutory maternity pay regardless of whether they are employed through a company or self-employed.

There are several things you can help me do as my friends - sign this petition (not mine but one I came across) and/or cut and paste your own version of the below letter to email to your MP. I know that's asking a lot and I don't expect you to send a letter/email if you don't have time, but any help getting this issue raised in public consciousness would be very helpful. I can see a placard-waving few months coming on here!

Just to give you an idea of where things stand at present, this is the current response to questions about this discrimination:
"As you are aware maternity benefits are primarily provided to protect the health and safety of the pregnant women and new mother when she has given birth... Statutory Adoption Pay is not available to the self-employed. The Government did carefully consider the position of self-employed parents when SAP was introduced but it was considered that the costs of setting up and administering a scheme similar to maternity allowance would be disproportionate to the numbers involved." (my italics)

Right. Well, thanks. Those 'numbers involved' currently include me, and I won't take it lying down. So any help you can give would be gratefully received!

MY ANGRY EMAIL TO MP:

Dear Norman,

I am writing to you because my husband and I are in the process of adopting and researching our financial options. Today I discovered that as a self-employed individual, I am not eligible for statutory adoption pay. This seems to be a shocking discrimination. Working pregnant women, by law, have access to statutory maternity pay regardless of whether they are employed through a company or self employed. Why are adoptive mothers discriminated against like this? Women who go on to adopt often do so after years of trying for their own biological family. Consider how it must feel then, that after years of failing to conceive, they are at a distinct financial disadvantage to women who get pregnant and have their own child.

Surely the work we do is just as valuable as biological mothers? In fact, it could be argued it is more so. We are providing a secure and safe home environment for seriously disadvantaged children. If we did not adopt these children, it would fall to the state to provide for them financially and bring them up until they are 18. These are children who have suffered more trauma and separation in their early lives than most of us will experience in a lifetime. To enable them to go on to live secure, happy and fulfilling lives, they need the best start in their adoptive families as possible. These children need adoptive parents who are able to devote time to help them adjust, who can be there as they cope with some of the attachment issues common to adoptive youngsters.

To deny a self-employed woman statutory adoption pay, so that she has to jeopardise the health and happiness of her child and return to work, seems thoughtless at best and, frankly, downright dangerous. If we are to give these children the best chance after rocky beginnings, we need to support those who will be dedicated to their care: their parents. Discriminating against self employed adoptive parents, and making them feel like lower class citizens without rights, does not achieve this.

I am still reeling from the shock of my discovery and want to reach as many people as possible so we can fight against this blatant and unacceptable discrimination. I hope I can count on your support in bringing this to light in parliament. We must act to change the law.


15 comments:

the boy's behaviour said...

There are so many differences between the rights of adoptive mums and birth mums that it's no wonder that many of us adopters feel there's a divide, or feel that we're different.

I was made redundant during adoption leave, so that was the end of my adoption pay! I just got redundancy.

My colleague was on maternity leave when she was made redundant, she received the remainder of her maternity entitlement along with her redundancy pay.

Fair? No!

This was almost 5 years ago so this particular situation may have changed, but I do strongly sympathise with you, and have signed the petition you included in your post x

Dream Seeker said...

Hi Stix, thanks for signing. I do feel a bit impotent in these things as I know that policy is unlikely to change but I feel like I have to do SOMETHING.

Quite what we're going to do when the little one comes is another thing, but looks like I will have to work which is quite a depressing prospect - whilst I love my job (writing) I had always imagined devoting some serious time to motherhood.

Well, we'll see, going to CAB next week to have a chat about my options. Can't believe they discriminate so openly against adoptive mums, it feels a bit like the final snub doesn't it?

Ho hum, onward and upward! xxx

sally said...

Well done for raising this. It is a disgrace.
I had to give up work when our children arrived and now can't see a way back into work (other than the small amount of freelance writing I do) as neither of them cope with childcare. We pay for our therapeutic help AND are about to lose our child benefit.
And now you've got me going!
I wish you all the best with your adoption journey.
Are you on twitter? There is a good group of us there.

Dream Seeker said...

Hi Sally,
Thanks for your comments, yes, it really made my blood boil and galvanised me into action! Like Stix said, there seems to be all sorts of discrimination against adoptive parents, as if what we do isn't worthy of the attention given to biological parenting when, frankly, the government should be falling over themselves to help and support us. We're lucky to have a superb LA however who have already booked us on to a Theraplay course, before we've even been officially matched, so I feel incredibly blessed to have ended up with them behind us.
I'm not on Twitter as I'm such a technophobe (living in a house without mains electricity means we're a bit out of the loop - I'm writing this with wind and solar power!) but I'm learning all the time, and could really do with the support and understanding of other adoptees so will get in touch when I join!
Warmest xxx

Anonymous said...

I am 37 years old, just found out i am pregnant. I have three wonderful boys, with one man we were together 13 years but split when my youngest was 7 months old. I am now living with a man and been together for three years. The thing is i am scared about it having another child, and being the only parent to care for it. I love the man i am with, but he works long hours and is gone for weeks at a time. What am i to do raise this child alone, one day i was browsing on the internet i saw DR SAMBOL, drsamblspelltemple@gmail.com, testimony saying that he help people when do can't get pregnant, and people that don't have any child that are looking for i quickly took the his email and contact him for help after doing what he ask me to do thing change and that day i got my self back again and i was having enough power and every thing went through. So i contact me friend that live in NYC she has be married for 12 years but no child, to my best surprise my friend that was childless for the past 12 years was pregnant oh my God thank you DR SAMBOL drsambolspelltemple@gmail.com for the kindness.

Anonymous said...


LOVE SPELL

This powerful White magic love spell is tailored to bring your lover back in your arms permanently and with no delay. I use the best spell casting techniques to make your lover come home. This spell is customized to your situation and deals specifically with the barriers that have risen between you and your ex-partner. One by one, all obstacles will be removed until your lover realizes that leaving you was a mistake and desire nothing but coming back into your arms.you can also contact him in is email
address /dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

Anonymous said...



I am prinsca Martin from spain. i orded a goodluck spell from Dr.churchofproblemsolved. and Within four days of completing my order everything seemed to change for the better. I had a call from my ex boyfriend and we are now seeing each other again and things are looking very good in that department. The very next day I was offered a major part in a leading UK. show after many auditions without success. churchofproblemsolvedchurch@yahoo.com i advice you to go and tell him you problems and you will see it will be solved. thanks to you all

Anonymous said...

miss joy

Dr.kokotemple, and friends, I wanted to give you an update on my situation. On Feb 14, 2006 I requested a binding love spell be cast on my boyfriend. His eyes roamed to any woman that passed us and it made me feel horrible. I am happy to report that a week after I requested the spell he proposed to me. We have been married for a year now, are expecting our first child in Nov. 2009 and he no longer has eyes for any other woman. I was greatly impressed with the fast results and the personal attention I was shown during the casting and beyond.he is real a good spell caster email dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

Anonymous said...


I am Avita john by name and i am located in Spain,I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious problems with my boyfriend and we had been dating for 1 year, He just suddenly changed, He wasn't returning my calls, He started cheating, He was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try this spell caster called Dr Paloma Cos there are so many good comments about him on the website, But before i could read his post,I have already contacted many spell caster that cheated me out of my hard earned money without given me result.But when i meet this spell caster out of desperation of some sort.I decided to contact them to please render there help to me, I explained all the problems that i was going through to him and he told me all i needed to do to get this spell castes. At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, Their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I had read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters, scams and i never really believed in magic. I played along with a little hope and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle, everything went to a whole new direction, it was and is amazing. I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day.I hope they could help other people too like they did to me. I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for, My husband, My family and my life back You can contact Dr Paloma at: great. palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com because he changed my life.

Unknown said...

i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated don’t know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr ashra spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of ashraspellhome@yahoo.com getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

UPDATE said...

Bringing back your lover – Even if far or gone for a long time If you want a spell that is solely about getting your lover back in your arms,
This spell has significant energy just to do that for your love life.
This spell has the ability to influence your lover to come home no matter what forces are keeping them away Bring Back Love Technique It uses the basics of traditional witch craft to hold its own powerful force field around you that draws back your love.
Quick Facts.
This spell will be completely customized to your situation.
My spells are completely safe and will not backfire or cause any harm.
This spell is a 100% Guarantee for your situation.
I believe in providing a very personalize service and I offer full customer support. .
All information will remain confidential. . Best satisfaction policy and highest success rate.
This spell is permanent and will not fade over time.
Email: dr.oyalospellhome@gmail.com

Unknown said...


My name is Jennifer and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful DR PALOMA, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through ***. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR PALOMA Email palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2das my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email: palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com

Unknown said...


My name is Sonia, and i live in uk.I have been through hell and pain,looking for a good and real spell caster who can help me get my husband back.I have been scammed so many times,by some who claimed to be real spell casters.until i found the real and great spell caster ADAGBASPIRITUSLTEMPLE who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my boyfriend who left me since eight months ago.and after that i also took my friend along,who was also having the same problem concerning her husband,who left her since five months ago,and the problem was also solved by the same ADAGBASPIRITUALTEMPLE". Can't you see! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now "adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com" is here,and the best for you to solve your problems.......
adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

Unknown said...


I am Smith from mexico it is always good to testify if

something good happen to you, last four month I was tested

HIV positive,i got confused to the point that i thought of

hanging my self with a rope,but unfortunately a friend came

in and stopped me from doing it and he ask me what the

problem was,I told him every thing that happen, he laugh and

told me if that was why I wanted to kill my self, he told me some

time ago he was also tested positive but when he met this DR EBHODAGHE a spell legend,after casting the spell he went back to

the hospital, and he was tested negative, to cut it short he

also took me to this priest ebhodaghe and the priest also cast the

spell for me, today am HIV negative is that not enough to

share of cause it is, if you are positive or encountering

any form of distress in life distance is not a barrier,

email him on (ebhodaghespellhome@outlook.com)or call +2347067570864

Anonymous said...

My Husband and i have been trying to have a child for two years, and the trying, fertility doctors, tests, hormone shots and miscarriages had begun to be a stifling force to our marriage. My husband was ready to give up and i was emotionally exhausted. A friend simply mentioned a fertility spell as a joke one day (don't joke with a hormonal woman, first of all!) and i decided to look into it. Dr. Ken agreed to take my case and help me to conceive with a fertility spell. Considering the cost of the treatment i have already gone through,the fee was okay, and my hopes were extremely high. Dr. Ken understood and knew the devastation and conquered feeling that hopeful mothers with fertility issues were likely to go through because he has been helping women in my type of case before i came to him.and i could feel his sincerity and his hope for me. We talked for a few days back and forth, and we finally decided to go ahead. I continued to have conception on my mind, but i felt my anxiety release a little by little. In my heart, I knew that it would work. After five weeks, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I wanted to wait to share the positive news, since I have repeatedly had miscarriages in my first trimester, but I am now seven months pregnant with a healthy baby girl. I'm glad that my friend made the joke that she did, and I'm equally thrilled my frantic hormonal brain took it seriously. All thanks to Dr. Ken. If you are having issues getting pregnant contact Dr. Ken today via email: supersolutionhome1@gmail.com or supersolutionhom@yahoo.com Via website: supersolutionhome.webs.com



My Husband and i have been trying to have a child for two years, and the trying, fertility doctors, tests, hormone shots and miscarriages had begun to be a stifling force to our marriage. My husband was ready to give up and i was emotionally exhausted. A friend simply mentioned a fertility spell as a joke one day (don't joke with a hormonal woman, first of all!) and i decided to look into it. Dr. Ken agreed to take my case and help me to conceive with a fertility spell. Considering the cost of the treatment i have already gone through,the fee was okay, and my hopes were extremely high. Dr. Ken understood and knew the devastation and conquered feeling that hopeful mothers with fertility issues were likely to go through because he has been helping women in my type of case before i came to him.and i could feel his sincerity and his hope for me. We talked for a few days back and forth, and we finally decided to go ahead. I continued to have conception on my mind, but i felt my anxiety release a little by little. In my heart, I knew that it would work. After five weeks, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I wanted to wait to share the positive news, since I have repeatedly had miscarriages in my first trimester, but I am now seven months pregnant with a healthy baby girl. I'm glad that my friend made the joke that she did, and I'm equally thrilled my frantic hormonal brain took it seriously. All thanks to Dr. Ken. If you are having issues getting pregnant contact Dr. Ken today via email: supersolutionhome1@gmail.com or supersolutionhom@yahoo.com Via website: supersolutionhome.webs.com