Oooo, tenterhooks today. The SW is with my mum and dad right now conducting an interview. Sure all will be well, and sending happy vibes that way, but a certain nervousness about the SW dredging up episodes from my teens that I'm sure my mum and dad want to forget all about! Hey ho, a means to an end. One amazing thing that has come out of becoming parents this way is the sense of connection it has forged with everyone. If we'd got pregnant, there wouldn't have been all this anticipation, the family and friends workshops, the meeting up with family and reflecting on so many aspects of the journey. Plus, the enormous ego massage of seeing what our referees have written about us - we were joking to our friends the other night that we decided on adoption just so we could get our nearest and dearest to write lovely things about us!! But R's mum came over last week and said just how much she'd enjoyed reflecting on grandparenthood - what it means and what she can bring to the table. What an amazing silver lining to what can be a long road.
Yesterday we met up with the friends we made on the adoption prep course for lunch. It was so good to hear others' experiences and talk about the ups and downs. We all had a laugh about how much the social workers know about us now, down to what we were doing every single year of our life to date. It feels extraordinary to give so much about yourselves, your relationship with every person in your life, plus your marriage - even the cats and dog had their own form! - but we all know it will be worth it in the end. We are ahead of the others which was bittersweet - we'd discussed not mentioning our panel date in case it made others feel that they were behind but of course it came up in the end. What made it really lovely was how pleased and supportive the others were about it, and we arranged to catch up again after we've been to panel so we can fill them in on the gory details! Not that nervous about it yet, but maybe that'll come later. Today, the sun is shining and my heart is light. Going to go and get my hands dirty in the garden and plant some of my burgeoning seedlings...
2 comments:
It's lovely that you're still in touch with your preparation group. We sadly aren't, and I don't have a big group of adopter friends, OK I don't have any adopter friends in real life (only online, but they're fab!).
Hold onto them. They will face the same issues you do when you all have your children placed, and you can all support each other - they sound a lovely bunch.
Hope your parents got on OK with your SW too.
x
Hi Stix, yes our friends are invaluable so far as we've commiserated and laughed about it all together. We just got an email telling us one of the couples has the same panel date as us, so we're going out that evening. I will, as you suggest, hold on to them tight! We were lucky that we had a lovely group to begin with. But like you say, I'm getting to know all of the adopter bloggers and enjoying the support of an online community too.
All went well with SW too, thank you! xx
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