goodbye to a dear animal spirit

It's been a long time since I last posted but for very good reason. Our dearest beloved friend G the sausage dog passed into the Light at 8.40am on Sunday 13th June. We spent a week prior to that trying to make her life as peaceful and restful as it could be for a dog suffering from heart failure. I went to pick her up from our friend's house (or her 'other mum' as she was the original owner and we 'shared' the dog after she went travelling for several years) on Saturday 5th June and noticed that she was breathless and exhausted. Her other mum felt it would not be long and we nursed her through a long dark night, fearing the worst. After a visit to the vets in the morning, armed with heart drugs and a diagnosis we took her home with a 50/50 chance of survival.

I felt strange prolonging the inevitable - is it fair to fill our wise animals with drugs to prolong their lives if they are suffering? But the extra week it gave us filled our hearts with love and joy. We both took time off work to nurture and care for our little friend, spent time gazing at the clouds and lying in the grass asking the Goddess to protect and care for her. Friends visited and gave her reiki, she was surrounded by crystals donated by our neices who tenderly sang and cared for her, she nibbled on her favourite treats and slowly, slowly we came to realise it was the end of her time with us.

On the last night, she shared the bed with us (as she had done all week, we got minimal sleep!) and I stayed up with her and tried to help her on her Journey. I knew her time was coming, I did not want her to suffer but I also wanted to follow her lead. I pulled an Angel card earlier in the week - Listening - and in those final hours, when my heart filled with doubt and R thought we should call out a vet to put her down, I went on a journey to meet her Higher Self. There she was, on a woodland path, with a sparkle of circular light at the end, and in her endless generosity she was turning back to see that we were okay. I asked her if she needed help and from the look she gave me I knew I was in the presence of a wise, wise spirit and simply to trust with all my heart. We called her other mum in the morning to tell her that it would not be long and she wanted G to come to her beautiful peaceful seaside home to lie in the grass and feel the healing energies all around. She talked about getting a vet to help her 'over the bridge'. I whispered to G 'we're taking you home, my darling' and after R had got up to collect her things, she died. Beside me there on the bed, the light went out in her eyes. Wise wise soul, how blessed we were to be guardians of your sweet, bright spirit and to be recipients of your manifold gifts.

Through G, I came to understand the meaning of Unconditional Love, love given freely from the heart. She was always by our sides; gentle, centring, present. I witnessed awe at the mysteries of existence and came to realise how death is like birth...if we are able to step back and allow, if we let go of our need to control and completely surrender, then almighty Nature knows what to do. I know there will come a time when I am birthing alone, or just with R and my sister by my side, when I will call on the wisdom of those eyes, recall the beauty and truth of complete surrender. As the days become weeks without her here, I have come to know that we were gifted an enlightened spirit who gifted us great love, joy and wisdom.

On Saturday we are gathering with a group of G's favourite human companions to raise a glass, plant a tree, remember happy times and set off Chinese lanterns into the night sky....may she always know peace and light