Eavesdropping

Once a week, I go back to the university I used to study at (many!) years ago. I started studying there again a few years back, doing an adult ed course, and now I meet up with fellow learners there, sit in the cafes or read in the library. I like the feeling of being there, caught up in the hub of learning and activity, and the library has an incredible range of reference books. I realise it sounds a bit like I cling to my youth, and I have to admit it's always fun to listen to the conversations of the students I once was. They see me as a bit of an old lady now so I can eavesdrop quite merrily! Last Tuesday I overheard a conversation between four students that followed this stream: selling your body for medical science - sperm donors - fertility treatment - adoption  in the UK and US - attachment - oxytocin (feel-good hormone) - breastfeeding. It was the most interesting conversation and I was amazed that they were having it - it pretty much covered a whole series of topics I know a lot about now.

What was so striking was that it reminded me how passionate we are when we are young - we feel we know everything because we have read some books and done some research and we can't wait to get out in the world and tell everyone! I thought I knew everything there was to know about natural birth having interviewed 10 women for my dissertation, and was a passionate advocate for that and breastfeeding. It went on to inform my work and gradually I learnt through the experience of supporting women about birth and new parenthood, but it was really those passionate, heartfelt and heated debates I had with people at university that struck me as I listened to these students. How endearing it is to hear the fresh, innocent opinions of people who haven't yet learnt through life experience (and I also remember how irritating older know-it-alls were when they smiled in a just-you-wait kind of way so I hope to god I never do that to anyone!!).

It also reminded me that you just don't know how your life is going to turn out. When I researched natural birth, I just assumed it would be part of my life story, but my life has taken a different turn. I wondered if any of the students would look back on that conversation ruefully when they're older, and their life has taken a different turn. One of the students was going to a lecture on the neurobiology of attachment and I wanted to go over and ask her about it because it sounded so interesting - and relevant to me!!! - but I chickened out because I didn't want them to think that the old lady sipping her coffee and pretending to read notes had in fact been listening to their (quite loud!) conversation all along...
(Rather incredibly - and brilliantly - after this eavesdropping session I was ID-ed when trying to buy a bottle of wine - hey, not so old-looking after all!)

In other news... I have become a knitting nut and spend almost every evening making something, usually for LO. Here is the latest addition to the pile of knitting: