Good news! Results are better!

Hooray! Good news! R's results finally came back to us after his second test on September 18th. There is an improvement! Still not great and quite a few unhealthy swimmers but at least it shows that there is potential for change. We went away for a lovely uplifting holiday to refresh our spirits the day after he had his test so had to keep calling from abroad to see if they were ready. On about the fifth day away, the secretary at the GP surgery said that the doctor wanted to speak to R but wasn't available, could R call back tomorrow. R was very gloomy after this and expected the worst so I did everything to bolster his spirits. That evening we had a very involved conversation about adoption, we ended up getting very excited about it and preparing to start our home study (with social workers, first step of adoption process) as soon as we returned.

The next day when we got the results - that there was a marginal improvement from the completely non-existant sperm in the first test - we weren't quite sure what to do with ourselves! It was hard to know how we felt. Of course we were happy but it did mean that our journey was by no means over. No more cycling or even occasional drinking for R and a very healthy diet and supplementation for how long? We have decided to give ourselves a year and then if nothing has happened to start the adoption process. It's strange but as soon as we got the results I realised i had really squashed down a deep sadness about not carrying my own child, birthing it naturally, breastfeeding it, not vaccinating it etc., all decisions that would be taken away from me if we adopted. I had spent the day when we were talking about adoption with a tight chest and it was refreshing to be able to work out why.