Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Hear me roar
Seriously, I did roar today, and I mean really really roar. My mother-in-law called after her visit with the social worker yesterday and our SW had told her that our child would most likely be coming to live with us in OCTOBER. Great, not so far away, very exciting. Except that we'd been told that matching would be very quick after our 11th July panel date, and we could even go to matching panel the following week. So we had kept August and September pretty free (challenging to manage when you're self-employed and work comes up that you have to keep turning down). Then we heard, second hand, that we were looking at October. And I really did have a little showdown, roaring and all! It felt good to get all the frustration and rage out. Just this limbo limbo land drives you bonkers after a while, this state of always being put off, having to hang on a bit longer. It seems cruel to do it to people who have been waiting forever to become parents anyway. I know when we get there, this bit will become irrelevant, be swept away by the extraordinary life changes ahead but ye gads, they keep you on your toes, don't they?!?!
Think I might just go back to bed....
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4 comments:
(((hugs)))
The waiting game really is tough. We were approved end of September, found out about Mini 2 weeks later, but couldn't go to matching panel til January. We missed his first Christmas and 1st birthday in that time. So I do feel for you.
But I'm really shocked that you heard 2nd hand. Have you since spoken to the SW to confirm?
Oh Stix, that must have been awful. It's so frustrating when you know that they're there, waiting for you and needing you. It just isn't in their best interests, is it? R pointed out to me that it was all just estimates anyway, what our SW told his mum and what she'd told us, as we haven't even been matched with a child yet so we don't know their circumstances or whether they'll be freed for adoption etc etc. We put a bit of a spanner in the works because we said we'd like a child under two - even under 18mths - and I think that's what has slowed things down. We'll get there in the end, I know...thanks for your support xx
Well, in Mini's case it kind of was in his best interest. If he'd moved close to Christmas/birthday then his association with those occasions would always be unsettling.
Lots of people obviously want under 2's, and I think it depends where you are as to how long that will take. Our LA has mostly under 2's, so here that wouldn't be a spanner.
I do hope you get there soon though, and once you've got your family, you won't look back! x
Yes, that's true, I hadn't thought of that. Our LA has lots of children under 2 too, and when we went to the initial meetings, it was the LA who suggested that a child under 2 would be best for us and the children they have that most need homes. Which was why we were a bit confused. But turns out my mother-in-law had misunderstood and SW actually said 'BY October' so that makes a difference! She got in touch today with some good news anyway!! xxx
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