No pregnancy yet....a very long wait last cycle - 40 days - led us up the garden path a bit, especially when we finally caved and did a pregnancy test which resolutely remained blank in both little boxes despite me weeing all over it. We decided not to do another one, this was on day 36 I think, and just waited. Very gutted to get my period on day 40 but I do think each time it happens it gets easier - or our skins get thicker?! I don't know. What I do know is my cycle is all over the shop and I keep meaning to get acupuncture again to regulate it. I've stopped doing all the charting and temperature testing as I found it so emotionally draining - I know for some people it is a wonderful tool and I think it really empowers women, but I personally found it obsessive and that it got in the way of just having a good ol' love-in with R. I get up at a different time every day so taking my temperature was always erratic at best.
Big events like Christmas used to be 'markers' e.g. 'by this time next year we'll have a baby', or, in the case of holidays; 'I'll probably be about 7 months pregnant by then so I might want to take it easy on the walks' etc. It seems funny that we used to be so convinced that we'd either be pregnant or have a baby every Christmas and this year we haven't even really talked about it at all! I'm beginning to think that if we ever get pregnant it'll be the most surreal and unbelievable experience that I just won't be able to compute at all....
Met the most lovely lady a few weeks ago who had just had twins at the age of 46, having been trying for 20 years. She and her partner had nearly given up all hope when someone at a fertility clinic said 'hang on, one last try' and it worked. I don't know what she had been through over the years or how she achieved the pregnancy but she mentioned egg donation and also many sadnesses along the way. Yet she looked absolutely radiant - exhausted, shell-shocked, bleary-eyed - but completely over the moon, down to earth and back over the moon again. She said she was so surprised and overwhelmed when she woke up in the morning and realised she was a mum! I felt really privelged to spend some time with her and meet the twins, a week old and wrinkly like sweet little walnuts in blankets. What she must have been through - wow, but she kept her hope alive.
